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“You’re too young!” If I had a penny for every time I heard that, I’d be a billionaire. Literally. Marrying young is super common in the military community, and for many reasons (which I will cover in depth in my next blog post). In the civilian world? Not so much. So if you’ve ever been told, “you’re too young!” you are in the right place. And I’m here to tell you that you are NOT too young.

I married my husband at nineteen, he was twenty. We went to high school together, but we were not high school sweethearts. We started dating when he was in Texas completing his training to be a corpsman. Meanwhile I was home in Nevada (yep, our relationship was long distance from the start! *cue the gasps of everyone who says they could never do a long distance relationship*). We dated about six months before getting engaged, and tied the knot a couple months after that. Instead of having a honeymoon, four days after our wedding, we packed up a U-Haul with all my belongings and started our cross country journey to Virginia, where he had been stationed. In the time span of less than a year, my life completely changed. I left my friends and family behind and moved to the opposite side of the country! And I wouldn’t change a thing. However, looking back on those early months, there are a lot of things I know now, that I wish I had known a lot sooner! 

Finally, that brings me to the here and now, and why I’m writing this blog. Being a military girlfriend/fiancรฉ/wife doesn’t come with a handbook, but it should! So, consider this blog to be your go-to guide, your safe haven, and your happy place. I want you, my dear readers, to feel comfortable here. I want to get to know you and be there for you when you need somebody who will understand. My email is always open, and any and all questions, comments, and concerns are welcome. So again, thank you for being here, truly โค๏ธ

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The “Dependa” Controversy

*warning: unpopular opinion follows*

Alright ladies, buckle up for this one. It’s time to talk about the other D word. You know the one that has everyone’s panties up in a bunch. Well here it goes…

Now let me explain the term for those of you who might be out of the loop, or maybe you’re just new to the military community. The term dependa, or dependapotamus, as some also say, is a derogatory term that refers to military spouses/girlfriends/fiancรฉs. It’s meaning? Well, see the graphic below: ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

Urban Dictionary Definition

Pretty harsh right? Where did this come from? Why is it the stereotype? Listen, the simple truth is that the term dependa exists because there are in fact dependas out there, and lots of them. Some call them the common plague of the military. If you’re feeling offended right about now, chances are it’s because you fall into the category of a dependa. 

But alas, I have good news! It’s not hard to not be a dependa. No seriously. If you’re a stay at home mom, great! Your job is to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. You are not a dependa. If you work from home, awesome! There is nothing wrong with that and you are not a dependa either. If you don’t work, you don’t clean the house or cook, and you wear your husbands rank as if it’s your own, well honey… you are the reason the term dependa exists and why this stereotype about military spouses exists. 

Please do us all a favor, don’t be a dependa!


Comment below your thoughts or feelings on the dependa controversy ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

The Norm: Marrying Young in the Military Community

Have you ever wondered why it seems like everyone in the military marries young? It’s almost as if they graduate boot camp and BAM! wedding bells are ringing. Well, you’re not wrong.

Marrying young is quite common in the military community… but why? Is there an actual reason? Or is this just a weird coincidence? You’ll be pleased to know there are in fact a couple factors that contribute to the normalcy of young marriage.

First, I want to get the stereotypical reason out of the way, because it is in fact the stereotype for a reason. BAH, Tricare, and chill, anyone? If you are with a military member, chances are that at least once (but probably a lot more) in your relationship, somebody somewhere tried to crack a joke about you only being together for the BAH and Tricare. Sooo not funny right? Well, though it may not be the case for you, it does happen. It is a driving reason for a lot of people. Can you say bigger paychecks? โœ”๏ธ Living off base ? โœ”๏ธ It really does open a lot of doors for them. I actually knew a girl who married one of her friends just because she was sick of living in the barracks and she wanted more money. They didn’t even live together. It was never real! And that’s just the way it is. Marriage isn’t serious for a lot people, they do it just for the benefits. BUT, this is not always the case! 

Secondly, with military life comes many uncertainties. For instance, there’s that awful D word… ya know… deployment ๐Ÿ˜ฑ It’s part of the life. I oh-so-fortunately have not had to cross that bridge, yet (but when I do, I hope all of you will be right here with me!). It’s a serious and scary thing. For one, it’s dangerous and no one knows what will happen. I don’t care where your honey is deployed to, I don’t care if it’s necessarily a war zone or it’s not, it is still dangerous and bad things can happen. And two, you have to spend anywhere from sixth months to a whole year without your significant other. Who would volunteer for that?! 

Now back to my point. Most 18 year olds don’t sign their life away on a dotted line. Most 18 year olds aren’t government property. Most 18 year olds don’t carry the weight of the United States of America on their shoulders. And most 18 year olds aren’t shipped off to war zones, or targeted by the evil in this world for the uniform they wear. Being in a military relationship means facing very unpleasant realities. There’s a chance your relationship won’t last forever, and not because you go your separate ways, nope. Because he could be taken from you. Because he might not make it home. 

With that being said, maybe now you can understand why marrying young is more common in the military community, and why relationships seem to move a lot faster than civilian counterparts. They are faced with things civilians don’t have to worry about. And that’s just facts. So if you’re guilty of telling a person or two “you’re too young,” remember this post before you find yourself saying it again.